I learned today of the death, a few months back, of somebody I’d never met but who I’d corresponded with off and on for several years. He was an odd fellow, an old man by the time I met him, named Gerard, who managed an online journal/blog called American Digest.
I first became aware of GVDL when he started linking to some of my blog posts here. Curious, I tracked him down and we started corresponding. He was honest – brutally honest – about himself; about how he felt about the degeneration of America; about how he thought the future would look.
He once called me one of the best essayists in America “Which is why you’ll never make it. Never be recognized.” “Don’t worry about traditional publishers for your books, you’ll never get them published.” GVDL told me about how he’d worked as an editor in the publishing industry and how the entire industry had been captured by the woke crowd (and worse). There would be no place for me; even if I were to sell myself out for a famous name on the spine of my novels. He followed my travels. He once mailed me a copy of Gevorg Emin he’d found at a used book sale – “Seven Songs for Armenia“, autographed by him on the wrong side of the book – the back side and upside down (I still have it in my library). I sent him some of my books after his 7000 copy library of books burned away in one of the California fires.
He encouraged me when I needed it, “Best damn thing you’ve written” about my novel “The Unraveling”, after I told him I hated it – “Sent me into a deep funk,” he said. Which gave me the energy to pull the previous version and spend a year fixing it and republishing a version I was proud of (Incidentally this is how I learned of his death. He’d told me of a brush with what he thought was bell’s palsy, and then he’d gone silent. I wrote him to tell him I’d fixed my book, and was told he was gone).
This got me to thinking about life. Though I didn’t know him well, I think its safe to say he was ornery and feisty and fully human. Flawed and frayed but strong, a fighter. Which gets me to wondering where all that spit and vinegar – all that spirit goes? How can you care so much about the fate of your nation one minute, and then the next it’s no longer your problem? How can you worry about the future and what’s coming just around the bend and how things might end up and what could go wrong, until that which is the worst thing happens – you die – and the worrying just stops?
GVDL is leaving his blog open, for 2 years – and I was told that there will be a book of his best writings. Independently published, I assume, because that’s how GVLD would have wanted it. “That NY publishing crowd is completely corrupted, without redemption. They can’t have my final thoughts” he would have said. Then “From digital dust to digital dust”. The page will be gone, an error message all that is left of something that was so important to somebody, into which he put his life and sweat and tears. And through which he influenced the lives of many others. Digital error messages; moth eaten manuscripts; rotted artwork – everything we do is transient. Nothing lasts.
His final post is here, “So long” it starts and then – fitting for him – it’s the link to a song.
RIP GVDL. You will be missed.
Joel D. Hirst's Blog 
I found you, your books and your blog through American Digest, Gerard’s magnificent, well, I’ll call it opus, even though that’s not quite right. I visited his blog everyday. It was a potpourri of art, poetry, essays, music videos, links from all over the web, his own writings, opinions and sometimes he would even post one of his commenters comments as a feature story. He had a cadre of faithful followers, and they could always be counted on to have some lively reactions to the fare presented on his daily posts. I still have his blog bookmarked and its thumbnail on my desktop. He is truly missed.
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Thats great Lynda! Yes he will be missed.
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Same here. I found your blog via Gerard. And I found his blog a long time ago from another (though I can’t remember which) blog.
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Stepping stones to help us muddle through.
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Thank you. I self-published and it was an OK experience. My book is on Amazon but not published by Amazon. Mostly I gave away my books to family and friends that was good enough for me. Will keep following you and keep on learning.
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I read Gerard’s American Digest for may years – it was always my first stop on the Internet, and always had something intriguing, thought-provoking, or delightful to offer. I may have found your blog through his.
He was amazingly sharp in his observations; I think he was right when he called you one of the best essayists in America. The Suicide of Venezuela and your succession of books have all been Gerard-level writing, which I consider quite high praise. So I buy everything your write, for my benefit and to show some small support for your work.
Gerard is gone now, but you are here to carry on.
Thank you for continuing to provide, as Gerard might say, “something wonderful.”
RIP, Gerard. He is missed, every day…
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Thank you Phil. And yes, he is missed.
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I frequently search for blogs like Joel’s and American Digest but it is a slog to get through all the bad ones to find those few gems. I wonder if there are any recommendations? Always looking for great original writing that poses the right questions.
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Oh, how I miss the daily visit to Gerard. The happiness, inspiration, and sometimes, tears.
My writing has been on sabbatical for a while due to life obligations. Might be time to crank things up again.
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Oh, how I miss the daily visit to Gerard. The happiness, inspiration, and sometimes, tears.
My writing has been on sabbatical for a while due to life obligations. Might be time to crank things up again.
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